An Open Letter to my Sister

Dear Sis,

Let's just start off by saying that I am STOKED for the arrival of your daughter/my NIECE!!!! You are going to be an incredible mother and Tim will be an exceptional father. And of course Adam and I will spoil her rotten. Visions of Ryan Surf Camp, shopping sprees, and living room dance parties are running through my head! I cannot wait to snuggle her for endless hours and laugh as the tickle monster Uncle Dunkle shows no mercy. She will have a fountain top ponytail at any point in time during her visit with Aunt Ellise. My heart melts when I think of her in garnet and gold and I can't wait until she presses her sweet, little hands together and bows her head to pray with us - eeeeeeek!

Now, down to the nitty gritty. I need you to listen very carefully to your big sis (like I've always bossed you to do) and read this letter with an open mind. I know this pregnancy has been quite the emotional roller coaster (weeeeeeeeeee), but I have to share my advice before the craziness of operation-baby-girl-takeover ensues.

As a teacher, you know I might just know a thing or two about a thing or two. I might not know a lot about parenting and I can assure you I know nothing about babies, but I know fifth graders. And I know that if certain things don't start happening early, by the time they reach me in fifth grade, it's really hard to mold them into who you and God want them to be. Everyone tells me: "Time flies!" and " They grow up too fast!" or "How is my child in 5th grade already?"

And so, since you will be saying these same words in 10 (lightning fast) years, I want you to be as best prepared as you can. This is not short and sweet, but long and strong.

Bossy Big Sis Advice:

Tip Demand #1: Read

Every. Single. Day. No Excuses. Read with her. Read to her. Buy books. And lots of them. Take her to the library. Let her see you reading, even if it's Glamour Magazine. Or the comic section of the paper. Whatever. Just read. Let her see your excitement for learning new things. Make story time the best time of the day. Get into character. Act silly. Let her see the joy that reading gives you. She will want to do the same because she wants to be just like her mommy. Show her that reading is important. Why? Because it IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. I promise you this. The most frustrated/struggling students are the students who have trouble reading and/or "hate" reading. They hate reading because they don't have a role model who loves it. Be my niece's reading role model.

Tip Demand #2: Have dinner or lunch or breakfast or a snack together.

Sit and talk.  Please don't let her eat in her room while watching TV and Instagraming her BFF who is totes magotes dating a hotty totty. Teach her manners, which I know you will. Yes ma'am. Please. Napkin in lap. Drink on the table, not on the floor... you have no idea what I've seen. The parents who know what's going on know because they ask. They talk. They listen. They put down their phones.  Parents who are nose deep in their own social media drama will produce their own little apples that continue to fall from their unmanageable tree. Either she hears your voice or that of Hollywood. And Hollywood is telling her to wear a hot pink zebra push up bra under a white shirt and show up at school. Yes, this happened.

Tip Demand #3. Let her take risks.

It builds confidence. Kids are starving for confidence. And I mean starrrrrving for it. (Sidenote - Have you shaken a 12-year-old's hand lately? Seriously, seek one out and do it. Like, go to a park one day and just randomly start introducing yourself or something. Most of them are Limp-ma-gimp! We don't need to crush knuckles, but give me a good shake and look me in the eye. I'll never forget Mrs. Blythe telling mom what she did with the two boys when meeting someone new. She would ask her children what color eyes a person had after meeting them for the first time. I love this. Eye contact. Stand up straight. A firm handshake.)  Allow her to fail and encourage her to keep going when she does. Let her try out for teams. Let her be the worst on the team if it makes her happy. She will learn and she will get better. Or she will lead herself to other areas where she will thrive. Let her do things that will end in failure and disappointment. Because failing builds perseverance and perseverance builds character and character builds confidence. Be confident that this will make her more confident.

Tip Demand #4. I saved the hardest for last...

Warning: I will be guilty of this one.

She will be pretty, but she won't be the prettiest. She will be hardworking, but she won't be the best at everything all the time. I say this because I've had kids at my fifth grade door thinking they can do no wrong, whine when they don't get their way, and pout when I tell them... wait for it - no they aren't the best (gasssppp). If I tell my sweet niece that she is the prettiest/best, then what will she work for? Will she be humble? Will she get lazy?

Highlighting her strengths and the strengths of others, will teach her to be well rounded. I see it every month: I announce the student of the month or highest grades on a test, etc. There are students who clap and congratulate their classmates and then there are those who shoot me the "I'm spoiled and my mommy tells me I'm the best when I'm really not" face.

I know you really don't need this because you will be a great parent. But, if it ever gets hard and you need a quick reminder as to why you are being the "mean" parent or the annoying 20 questions parent, just glance at this little love note. Her teachers will thank you.

I love you! xo Big Sis

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Holy Whole 30 Day REVival

Today was one of those "I'm having an epiphany and I'm crying in church and good thing my hair is down so no one can see me" days where I think the pastor is talking directly to me. It's as if God knew exactly what I needed to hear and sent it spewing from the mouth of the man on stage. Today's message made me think of some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind. And now is the time to do something about them.

Cheers to New Beginnings

I'm embarking on what I'm calling the Holy Whole 30 Day REVival for the Mind, Body, and Soul. Say that 3x fast. Serving up a few slices of my humble Easter pie...

REVive the mind

Pura Vida

My mind is a funny place. There are some days where I feel I am constantly battling with it. Talking to it. Praying to it. Yelling at it. Loving it. There are certain factors that affect my mind more than others. During my day, I use my mind a lot. I teach fifth graders how to divide fractions on a number line (ugh - Common Core), how long the small intestine is (approx. 20 feet long in case you were wondering), or how the American Revolution shaped America (tea anyone?). I have to train my mind to get inside the minds of 11 year olds - Jesus help me. And I'm proud of my mind in those triumphant moments.

What I'm not proud of is the amount of mindless activity that takes place once I'm home. "I'll just log into Facebook for a few minutes," I say. A few minutes turns into an hour (or sometimes more if we are really putting it out on the table) and I've barely said three words to my husband. All of the sudden I'm on my best friend's friend's cousin's page. Like what?? I don't even know this girl and I'm practically stalking her life because she has super cute clothes and I want my living room to look like her recent remodel. Oh. Dear. Gawd... how did I even get here?

Get it together, lady! Facebook has given me amazing connections with people (my husband for one), but it's also stirred up jealousy and envy. Ohhhhh jeez. There I said it. Em-bar-a-ssing! Am I alone here? I'm in no way bashing the site. But for me, I need a break. A short break. 30 days. To see what can happen to my mind with only the information that I choose to see and hear.

Seriously, Ellise - what will you DO? How will you keep in touch with people? Seriously, world - it's called the phone? A card? Something a little more, let's get a little crazy and say, personal? My really close friends and family don't clue me in on momentous events in their lives through social media. They call me. And we talk. Get emotional. We cry, laugh, scream. We do lunch. We do coffee. We walk. We run. And I want that mindful connection back. I'm hungry for it.


REVive the body

Garden Glory and Summer Bugs

So something I wish I wasn't so hungry for is "junk in the trunk and on hips and on thighs" food.

I've researched a program called Whole 30. You can find more information here: http://whole30.com.

It's a program focused on food. Whole Food. Real Food. No sugars. No cheats. No stepping on a scale. No excuses. For 30 days.

This is not some crazy diet where I'm trying to lose tons of weight. I want more energy, more glow, and better health. I know it starts with food. You know it starts with food. I can't go to the gym twice a day and eat junk and expect results. I can't run for 30 minutes then come home and have a glass of wine and maybe some ice cream and expect to be all Victoria Secret at the beach. I love exercise. Exercise is not my weak point. Food is. Nutrition-void carbs are. Sweets are. I want to be hungry for the good stuff. The stuff God intended for me to eat in order to nourish and strengthen my body.


REVive the soul

Wise Words

Hi, my name is Ellise and I think avocado toast is more important than God.

I used to spend time with God in the mornings before work. And then I got lazy. Snooze button 1: Jesus 0. Which then left me only time for breakfast or Bible. So, I'd leave the house all proud that my belly was full, but my soul was empty. (Okay Ellise. A little dramatic, don't you think?) Well maybe so, but honestly I knew that I was beginning my day unfulfilled and on my own. I need God every single day. I need him every morning. How dare I think I can face a day without him in my heart and on my mind. Do you have any idea the temptations that the devil has in store for you everyday? And here I was all proud of my sprouts that I had added to my toast while totally ignoring the man who made those stinkin' sprouts possible.

Where is that fire in my soul? Where is that intense pull towards the man who makes everything possible? I lost it and I want it back. I want to rev up that fire that I know is inside me. The way I feel when my mind, body, and soul are all on the same page. Where I reduce the amount of people and things that can affect the brightness of my light. He can help with all of that. Miracles may or may not happen in these upcoming 30 days. But I'm excited to see how much happier I will be. How happy He will be if I wake up just a few minutes earlier, sit down, with his book, study, and pray.

I'll be documenting my progress, if anyone cares -ha!, via Instagram and more updates will be posted on the blog. Duh - since I won't be spending an hour on the Face each night. So check-in with me or if you're feeling all inspired - join me. There is no shame in this game we call life. Looking forward to loving on myself, on you, and on God.

*My REV-up date is Friday, April 10th. TGIF, right?

The Love List

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thought I'd share some things I'm L-O-V-I-N-G this week. There's lots of love in the air and I am digging it!

ONE: Cheesy Valentine's Day Decor

There was no shortage of hearts in my classroom today and Adam should beware because he knows there's something silly waiting for him at home as well.

Cascading hearts. Every man's dream, right? And this is just the entrance - ha!

Need an idea?

It's the little things chicas. Look for little things your man does for you and you won't know when to stop writing these.

TWO: Book Recommendations

One perk of teaching is receiving book recommendations from fifth graders. Have you read a children's book lately? Talk about a "feel good escape." If you want my fifth grade top picks let me know. (Yes, I'm serious.)

How can I resist sticky notes on my book shelf asking me to read the same books as they have? Try this to help build connections with your students or your own children. It's so cool!

My current read. 

Annnnnd back to adult life... 

Love this book. I wouldn't say that Adam loved me following him around the house trying to ask him these questions. But, after that it was very informative. Always working on making sure the hubs knows that he is #1.

THREE: Friendly Notes 

My co-workers are my friends. I am very lucky to be able to say that. Helloooo - I work with A LOT of women. That kind of situation can get ugly. 

My Reading Coach made this really sweet note for all of the literacy week readers.

My sweet friend/co-worker sent this to me this morning when she knew I wasn't feeling well. 

Made. My. Day. 

Wishing my sweet readers a very Happy Valentine's Day! I challenge you to make someone feel loved this week.

Swap Shop - Beauty Edition

Welcome to my Swap Shop where I'm looking to swap out problematic products and shop for new ones. Together we can tackle life's pesky little health and beauty blunders.

Swap:   traditional deodorant

Shop:    natural deodorant

Let's just say this isn't my finest moment on the blogosphere. You know how monkeys look when they are scratching their underarms?

Me using traditional deodorant.

Unfortunately, I do. I don't know what happened, but traditional deodorants decided to make me miserable. Oh man would I would itch, itch, itch! It was the pits.

Thanks to my sweet sister-in-law, I was introduced to Schmidt's Natural Deodorant. It was quite delightful not needing to sneak an itch every four seconds. I mean just imagine this... You are on a date with your super cute man/potential husband. You say, "Hey Hunkalicious, look! It's a flying pig!" He looks. You do a quick scratch scratch. Embarrassing moment diverted.

Ladies - have you checked your deodorant label lately? Eeeeek! There is some scary stuff out there. I'm loving my deodorant swap and I hope you will too!

Get yourself some of this awesomeness at urbanoutfitters.com or your local health nut boutique.

Swap:  lotion
Shop:   oils

I love smelling like a walking Piña Colada! Slather me up with a coconut lotion potion and no one can ruin my day!

Why don't I own these?

What I don't enjoy is reading the ingredients list on their labels. Lately, I've been channeling my inner hippie and I'm using coconut oil and/or other natural oils in place of lotion. I figure if I can cook with this stuff, I should be able to soothe my skin with it.

I even have a special oil tailored to my Pitta body type. Has anyone else looked into the Ayurvedic Medicine? Fascinating stuff!

Truth be told, my skin stays hydrated a lot longer with the natural oils. I'm feeling really boho chic right about now. And you can too! Just start small. Grab some coconut oil and put a little dab on your knees and elbows. See how you like it. I'm loving this swap! Not to mention there's some gnarly stuff in lotions, so I feel like I'm rescuing my chemically treated skin.

And the best part? I still smell like a Hawaiian vacation!

Out with the dry. In with the silky and supple.

Swap: straightener
Shop:  coconut milk serum

The last time I went to the salon, my hair stylist gave me an earful about straightening my hair. I guess it makes sense that I should only singe my locks for special occasions. Most days I just need a minor taming of the mane.

Those mornings when you have 30 minutes to get ready.

After perusing the beauty aisles at Walgreens, I was tempted by the product below. How could I resist coconut milk anti-breakage/solve all of my hair problems serum? I don't put it on my roots or the top of my head because come on that's not a good look for anyone.

I've started using this stuff on the lower portion of my hair and I love it. Now, let's get serious, it definitely doesn't work as well as the real deal. If you are going on a date and want to look all sassy frassy then break out the straightener. If you need a quick fix and you're looking for a more au naturale alternative, then give it a try. For me, it serves its Monday - Friday purpose and it smells heavenly.

All I'm missing is my hula skirt.

I'd love to hear what you are swapping out in your beauty routine. Let's all share our secrets so we can be gorgeous babes. Naturally.

Hey It's Okay...

In honor of my favorite column in my favorite Glamour Magazine, I'm creating my own "Hey, It's Okay" series on the blog. Join me as I begin to realize that some things I once thought were not okay are, in fact, perfectly fine. Here's to feeling okay enough to openly post my thoughts.

Hey, It's Okay...

to teach at and/or let your child attend a school that is not A-rated. I may ruffle some feathers with this one, but I know there are others out there who have thought the same way. *Private schools are the exception here.*

This one's for teachers like me who've struggled with the feeling that we aren't doing our best as teachers or aren't teaching at the best school. For parents like mine who weren't afraid of diversity, neighborhood schools, and fighting for soap in the bathrooms like the rich schools had, this is for you. Love you!

When I went to elementary school, there weren't school grades. We just went to our neighborhood school and what do you know, we survived. Sure, a small portion of my parents' friends could not believe we were going to "that" school. So those few parents would drive them to a "better" school or up and move to a "better" area where they would go to a more desirable school. I loved my neighborhood. I loved my school. I had no idea I wasn't at the best school in the entire world until people started talking smack about it later in life. 

These days it's a bit different. Now, every school is given a school grade and for the most part it goes a little something like this:

A-Rated: Wealthy, mainly white students

B-Rated or Lower: Everyone else

When I began my teaching career four years ago, I took a long term substitute position at a local elementary school. This particular school was an A-rated school. Naturally, I walked in there (with my new teaching wardrobe on I must add) thinking that they had the best of the best. The best students, the best parents, and the best teachers. And boy oh boy did I hit the jackpot. The students were ahhhmazing and the parents were even better. I had a room mom! Yeah ladies they exist! Fancy, right? The kids were extremely bright, 99% of them were well taken care of, supplies were brought in, kids were bathed, fed, and loved. To make matters even better, I was there to receive all the Christmas Break gift spoiling. "Ellise, you are the next contestant on the Price is Right, come on down!" Eeeeek! This was so fun to get all sorts of gifts that I actually liked. FSU themed goodies and gift cards galore. I freakin' L-O-V-E this place! 

Three months later my position ended - booooo! But I got extremely lucky to find a job at another local school for the remainder of the year - score! This next school was not an A-rated school. When I mentioned my new adventure to teachers at the A-school, they gave me that look. You know thaaaat look. The look of "Aw bless your heart, sweetpea. Good luck with that. " And that was when I knew I had been "warned." Oh super. What's so wrong over there? It's only a few miles from some of these A-mazing schools. Seriously, how different can it be? 

Very. Different. 

(Now, before I proceed let's get real. This county is great! We are blessed to live here. We don't know ghetto or poor like some other districts. But I do think sometimes we forget that and get a bit too big for our britches, just like I started doing when my fairy tale teaching bubble was popped. )

After my first week at my "just average" new school, I wanted OUT and I wanted out ASAP. I wanted to go back to the sweet life. Where were my perfect children? Excuse me, no room mommy!? Why wasn't I filling out a survey about my favorite things? I like Almond Joys, the color blue, and Bonefish Grill. Should I include this in my All About Me letter? What's going on here? Bad dream? Waking up in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

I took a deep breath. I had committed to this school for the rest of the year. But I swore the minute that year ended, I was going to apply like a wild woman to all of the A-rated schools in our district because this challenging teaching stuff was for the birds. I left more exhausted and defeated in the first week than I did in the three months I was at the A-mazing school. Every single rotten day I would think, How do these teachers do it here? Do they not know that there is an easier way? They MUST be getting paid more. That's totally it. No? Dear God please let me be at a school where I belong. This cannot be it. I wished and hoped God would answer my prayers. And who learned the hard way because she was hard headed? This gal.

Surprisingly, that first class really grew on me. I knew that if I was able to survive the NYC and MIA dating scenes, I could surely handle 24 ten year olds with occasional on-the-verge-hormonal outbreaks. Was I going to give up on kids like these because, well it was more challenging? Challenge is my middle name! I eat challenges for breakfast! Most of my parents and students were just like those of the other schools - Smart. Outgoing. Determined. Persistent. Problem Solvers. Hungry to Succeed. Generous. Involved. And some of my parents over the years have showed more love to kids they don't even know than I've ever seen. Yes, I'm now bragging about the same people I was dreading to meet.

Teachers: Here is what I know for sure. Teachers are no better at an A-rated school than they are at a non A-rated school. And I can say that because I know this is a fact. Most teachers are AWESOME. At all kinds of schools. Switch our staff with an A-rated school staff and their A-team reputation will not change our school score miraciuosly to an A. And some think it's too much to handle and would never set foot at our school. I know this because I've been there and experienced that. 

Parents: It's not wrong to want the best for your child/children. Most people do attend their neighborhood school. But you are not "protecting" your child by trying to keep them away from "those" kids. You are not being a savior by begging for certain neighborhoods to be zoned to our school instead of yours. These are CHILDREN. It hurts my heart to hear parents talk like that about 5 year olds! I even hear kids talking about it, which definitely means their parents are talking about it... in front of them. And I hate to break it to you, but those same kids you are so afraid of are coming to a middle or high school classroom near you. Gasp! They might even play on a sports team with your child. Double gasp! No! Say it isn't true?! But parents don't fret because bad things are only talked about at the "bad" schools. Ha, that was a joke. Do you have any idea who taught me about drugs and all sorts of other things? You guessed it - kids from the "better" schools. I'm not saying this is how it always goes. I'm not calling out any one school. I'm not putting down your school or your decision. I just ask that you stop putting down my school and my kids. 

Just because some of our kids have to walk to the dollar store to buy a project board and then only have a pencil at home to use to decorate that board, does not make them bad kids. 

Just because our classrooms are filled with noses in books instead of finger swipes on kindles, does not make them lazy or worthless.

Just because our kids need hugs and handshakes every dang day to feel loved, does not make them future criminals. 

Just because it's their parents fault does not make it their fault. 

Just because we don't get fancy gifts to show that we are the best teachers ever, does not mean that we aren't the best.teachers.ever! (And yes, I've received soap, yard sale finds, a single stick of gum, used coffe mugs, and half filled perfume bottles. Good thing, I love a good yard sale find! Good Lord, I love this job.)

These are God's children created specifically by him. Some of us are called to love on all of them no matter their color, behavior, disability, or bank account. How dare I or anyone else think for one second that we are too good to be around them. Jeez I just admitted how shallow I used to be. If anything, you have to be really freakin' amazing to be there.

I love teachers! I love kids! I love competition! I certainly hope we do achieve that A-rating one day. Some people just have to work a little harder, but we are definitely up for the challenge.

This journey continues to be the most emotional ride I've ever been on. And I don't plan on getting off this roller coaster to cruise the lazy river. Hey it's okay - just keep your head up, your hands up, and thank the big man above for putting you right where you, and some A-mazing kids, NEED YOU to be.