Dear Sis,
Let's just start off by saying that I am STOKED for the arrival of your daughter/my NIECE!!!! You are going to be an incredible mother and Tim will be an exceptional father. And of course Adam and I will spoil her rotten. Visions of Ryan Surf Camp, shopping sprees, and living room dance parties are running through my head! I cannot wait to snuggle her for endless hours and laugh as the tickle monster Uncle Dunkle shows no mercy. She will have a fountain top ponytail at any point in time during her visit with Aunt Ellise. My heart melts when I think of her in garnet and gold and I can't wait until she presses her sweet, little hands together and bows her head to pray with us - eeeeeeek!
Now, down to the nitty gritty. I need you to listen very carefully to your big sis (like I've always bossed you to do) and read this letter with an open mind. I know this pregnancy has been quite the emotional roller coaster (weeeeeeeeeee), but I have to share my advice before the craziness of operation-baby-girl-takeover ensues.
As a teacher, you know I might just know a thing or two about a thing or two. I might not know a lot about parenting and I can assure you I know nothing about babies, but I know fifth graders. And I know that if certain things don't start happening early, by the time they reach me in fifth grade, it's really hard to mold them into who you and God want them to be. Everyone tells me: "Time flies!" and " They grow up too fast!" or "How is my child in 5th grade already?"
And so, since you will be saying these same words in 10 (lightning fast) years, I want you to be as best prepared as you can. This is not short and sweet, but long and strong.
Bossy Big Sis Advice:
Every. Single. Day. No Excuses. Read with her. Read to her. Buy books. And lots of them. Take her to the library. Let her see you reading, even if it's Glamour Magazine. Or the comic section of the paper. Whatever. Just read. Let her see your excitement for learning new things. Make story time the best time of the day. Get into character. Act silly. Let her see the joy that reading gives you. She will want to do the same because she wants to be just like her mommy. Show her that reading is important. Why? Because it IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. I promise you this. The most frustrated/struggling students are the students who have trouble reading and/or "hate" reading. They hate reading because they don't have a role model who loves it. Be my niece's reading role model.
Sit and talk. Please don't let her eat in her room while watching TV and Instagraming her BFF who is totes magotes dating a hotty totty. Teach her manners, which I know you will. Yes ma'am. Please. Napkin in lap. Drink on the table, not on the floor... you have no idea what I've seen. The parents who know what's going on know because they ask. They talk. They listen. They put down their phones. Parents who are nose deep in their own social media drama will produce their own little apples that continue to fall from their unmanageable tree. Either she hears your voice or that of Hollywood. And Hollywood is telling her to wear a hot pink zebra push up bra under a white shirt and show up at school. Yes, this happened.
It builds confidence. Kids are starving for confidence. And I mean starrrrrving for it. (Sidenote - Have you shaken a 12-year-old's hand lately? Seriously, seek one out and do it. Like, go to a park one day and just randomly start introducing yourself or something. Most of them are Limp-ma-gimp! We don't need to crush knuckles, but give me a good shake and look me in the eye. I'll never forget Mrs. Blythe telling mom what she did with the two boys when meeting someone new. She would ask her children what color eyes a person had after meeting them for the first time. I love this. Eye contact. Stand up straight. A firm handshake.) Allow her to fail and encourage her to keep going when she does. Let her try out for teams. Let her be the worst on the team if it makes her happy. She will learn and she will get better. Or she will lead herself to other areas where she will thrive. Let her do things that will end in failure and disappointment. Because failing builds perseverance and perseverance builds character and character builds confidence. Be confident that this will make her more confident.
Warning: I will be guilty of this one.
She will be pretty, but she won't be the prettiest. She will be hardworking, but she won't be the best at everything all the time. I say this because I've had kids at my fifth grade door thinking they can do no wrong, whine when they don't get their way, and pout when I tell them... wait for it - no they aren't the best (gasssppp). If I tell my sweet niece that she is the prettiest/best, then what will she work for? Will she be humble? Will she get lazy?
Highlighting her strengths and the strengths of others, will teach her to be well rounded. I see it every month: I announce the student of the month or highest grades on a test, etc. There are students who clap and congratulate their classmates and then there are those who shoot me the "I'm spoiled and my mommy tells me I'm the best when I'm really not" face.
I know you really don't need this because you will be a great parent. But, if it ever gets hard and you need a quick reminder as to why you are being the "mean" parent or the annoying 20 questions parent, just glance at this little love note. Her teachers will thank you.
I love you! xo Big Sis
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Holy Whole 30 Day REVival
Today was one of those "I'm having an epiphany and I'm crying in church and good thing my hair is down so no one can see me" days where I think the pastor is talking directly to me. It's as if God knew exactly what I needed to hear and sent it spewing from the mouth of the man on stage. Today's message made me think of some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind. And now is the time to do something about them.
Cheers to New Beginnings
I'm embarking on what I'm calling the Holy Whole 30 Day REVival for the Mind, Body, and Soul. Say that 3x fast. Serving up a few slices of my humble Easter pie...
REVive the mind
Pura Vida
My mind is a funny place. There are some days where I feel I am constantly battling with it. Talking to it. Praying to it. Yelling at it. Loving it. There are certain factors that affect my mind more than others. During my day, I use my mind a lot. I teach fifth graders how to divide fractions on a number line (ugh - Common Core), how long the small intestine is (approx. 20 feet long in case you were wondering), or how the American Revolution shaped America (tea anyone?). I have to train my mind to get inside the minds of 11 year olds - Jesus help me. And I'm proud of my mind in those triumphant moments.
What I'm not proud of is the amount of mindless activity that takes place once I'm home. "I'll just log into Facebook for a few minutes," I say. A few minutes turns into an hour (or sometimes more if we are really putting it out on the table) and I've barely said three words to my husband. All of the sudden I'm on my best friend's friend's cousin's page. Like what?? I don't even know this girl and I'm practically stalking her life because she has super cute clothes and I want my living room to look like her recent remodel. Oh. Dear. Gawd... how did I even get here?
Get it together, lady! Facebook has given me amazing connections with people (my husband for one), but it's also stirred up jealousy and envy. Ohhhhh jeez. There I said it. Em-bar-a-ssing! Am I alone here? I'm in no way bashing the site. But for me, I need a break. A short break. 30 days. To see what can happen to my mind with only the information that I choose to see and hear.
Seriously, Ellise - what will you DO? How will you keep in touch with people? Seriously, world - it's called the phone? A card? Something a little more, let's get a little crazy and say, personal? My really close friends and family don't clue me in on momentous events in their lives through social media. They call me. And we talk. Get emotional. We cry, laugh, scream. We do lunch. We do coffee. We walk. We run. And I want that mindful connection back. I'm hungry for it.
REVive the body
Garden Glory and Summer Bugs
So something I wish I wasn't so hungry for is "junk in the trunk and on hips and on thighs" food.
I've researched a program called Whole 30. You can find more information here: http://whole30.com.
It's a program focused on food. Whole Food. Real Food. No sugars. No cheats. No stepping on a scale. No excuses. For 30 days.
This is not some crazy diet where I'm trying to lose tons of weight. I want more energy, more glow, and better health. I know it starts with food. You know it starts with food. I can't go to the gym twice a day and eat junk and expect results. I can't run for 30 minutes then come home and have a glass of wine and maybe some ice cream and expect to be all Victoria Secret at the beach. I love exercise. Exercise is not my weak point. Food is. Nutrition-void carbs are. Sweets are. I want to be hungry for the good stuff. The stuff God intended for me to eat in order to nourish and strengthen my body.
REVive the soul
Wise Words
Hi, my name is Ellise and I think avocado toast is more important than God.
I used to spend time with God in the mornings before work. And then I got lazy. Snooze button 1: Jesus 0. Which then left me only time for breakfast or Bible. So, I'd leave the house all proud that my belly was full, but my soul was empty. (Okay Ellise. A little dramatic, don't you think?) Well maybe so, but honestly I knew that I was beginning my day unfulfilled and on my own. I need God every single day. I need him every morning. How dare I think I can face a day without him in my heart and on my mind. Do you have any idea the temptations that the devil has in store for you everyday? And here I was all proud of my sprouts that I had added to my toast while totally ignoring the man who made those stinkin' sprouts possible.
Where is that fire in my soul? Where is that intense pull towards the man who makes everything possible? I lost it and I want it back. I want to rev up that fire that I know is inside me. The way I feel when my mind, body, and soul are all on the same page. Where I reduce the amount of people and things that can affect the brightness of my light. He can help with all of that. Miracles may or may not happen in these upcoming 30 days. But I'm excited to see how much happier I will be. How happy He will be if I wake up just a few minutes earlier, sit down, with his book, study, and pray.
I'll be documenting my progress, if anyone cares -ha!, via Instagram and more updates will be posted on the blog. Duh - since I won't be spending an hour on the Face each night. So check-in with me or if you're feeling all inspired - join me. There is no shame in this game we call life. Looking forward to loving on myself, on you, and on God.
*My REV-up date is Friday, April 10th. TGIF, right?
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