Let's just start off by saying that I am STOKED for the arrival of your daughter/my NIECE!!!! You are going to be an incredible mother and Tim will be an exceptional father. And of course Adam and I will spoil her rotten. Visions of Ryan Surf Camp, shopping sprees, and living room dance parties are running through my head! I cannot wait to snuggle her for endless hours and laugh as the tickle monster Uncle Dunkle shows no mercy. She will have a fountain top ponytail at any point in time during her visit with Aunt Ellise. My heart melts when I think of her in garnet and gold and I can't wait until she presses her sweet, little hands together and bows her head to pray with us - eeeeeeek!
Now, down to the nitty gritty. I need you to listen very carefully to your big sis (like I've always bossed you to do) and read this letter with an open mind. I know this pregnancy has been quite the emotional roller coaster (weeeeeeeeeee), but I have to share my advice before the craziness of operation-baby-girl-takeover ensues.
As a teacher, you know I might just know a thing or two about a thing or two. I might not know a lot about parenting and I can assure you I know nothing about babies, but I know fifth graders. And I know that if certain things don't start happening early, by the time they reach me in fifth grade, it's really hard to mold them into who you and God want them to be. Everyone tells me: "Time flies!" and " They grow up too fast!" or "How is my child in 5th grade already?"
And so, since you will be saying these same words in 10 (lightning fast) years, I want you to be as best prepared as you can. This is not short and sweet, but long and strong.
Bossy Big Sis Advice:
Every. Single. Day. No Excuses. Read with her. Read to her. Buy books. And lots of them. Take her to the library. Let her see you reading, even if it's Glamour Magazine. Or the comic section of the paper. Whatever. Just read. Let her see your excitement for learning new things. Make story time the best time of the day. Get into character. Act silly. Let her see the joy that reading gives you. She will want to do the same because she wants to be just like her mommy. Show her that reading is important. Why? Because it IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. I promise you this. The most frustrated/struggling students are the students who have trouble reading and/or "hate" reading. They hate reading because they don't have a role model who loves it. Be my niece's reading role model.
Sit and talk. Please don't let her eat in her room while watching TV and Instagraming her BFF who is totes magotes dating a hotty totty. Teach her manners, which I know you will. Yes ma'am. Please. Napkin in lap. Drink on the table, not on the floor... you have no idea what I've seen. The parents who know what's going on know because they ask. They talk. They listen. They put down their phones. Parents who are nose deep in their own social media drama will produce their own little apples that continue to fall from their unmanageable tree. Either she hears your voice or that of Hollywood. And Hollywood is telling her to wear a hot pink zebra push up bra under a white shirt and show up at school. Yes, this happened.
It builds confidence. Kids are starving for confidence. And I mean starrrrrving for it. (Sidenote - Have you shaken a 12-year-old's hand lately? Seriously, seek one out and do it. Like, go to a park one day and just randomly start introducing yourself or something. Most of them are Limp-ma-gimp! We don't need to crush knuckles, but give me a good shake and look me in the eye. I'll never forget Mrs. Blythe telling mom what she did with the two boys when meeting someone new. She would ask her children what color eyes a person had after meeting them for the first time. I love this. Eye contact. Stand up straight. A firm handshake.) Allow her to fail and encourage her to keep going when she does. Let her try out for teams. Let her be the worst on the team if it makes her happy. She will learn and she will get better. Or she will lead herself to other areas where she will thrive. Let her do things that will end in failure and disappointment. Because failing builds perseverance and perseverance builds character and character builds confidence. Be confident that this will make her more confident.
Warning: I will be guilty of this one.
She will be pretty, but she won't be the prettiest. She will be hardworking, but she won't be the best at everything all the time. I say this because I've had kids at my fifth grade door thinking they can do no wrong, whine when they don't get their way, and pout when I tell them... wait for it - no they aren't the best (gasssppp). If I tell my sweet niece that she is the prettiest/best, then what will she work for? Will she be humble? Will she get lazy?
Highlighting her strengths and the strengths of others, will teach her to be well rounded. I see it every month: I announce the student of the month or highest grades on a test, etc. There are students who clap and congratulate their classmates and then there are those who shoot me the "I'm spoiled and my mommy tells me I'm the best when I'm really not" face.
I know you really don't need this because you will be a great parent. But, if it ever gets hard and you need a quick reminder as to why you are being the "mean" parent or the annoying 20 questions parent, just glance at this little love note. Her teachers will thank you.
I love you! xo Big Sis
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