An Open Letter to my Sister
Dear Sis,
Let's just start off by saying that I am STOKED for the arrival of your daughter/my NIECE!!!! You are going to be an incredible mother and Tim will be an exceptional father. And of course Adam and I will spoil her rotten. Visions of Ryan Surf Camp, shopping sprees, and living room dance parties are running through my head! I cannot wait to snuggle her for endless hours and laugh as the tickle monster Uncle Dunkle shows no mercy. She will have a fountain top ponytail at any point in time during her visit with Aunt Ellise. My heart melts when I think of her in garnet and gold and I can't wait until she presses her sweet, little hands together and bows her head to pray with us - eeeeeeek!
Now, down to the nitty gritty. I need you to listen very carefully to your big sis (like I've always bossed you to do) and read this letter with an open mind. I know this pregnancy has been quite the emotional roller coaster (weeeeeeeeeee), but I have to share my advice before the craziness of operation-baby-girl-takeover ensues.
As a teacher, you know I might just know a thing or two about a thing or two. I might not know a lot about parenting and I can assure you I know nothing about babies, but I know fifth graders. And I know that if certain things don't start happening early, by the time they reach me in fifth grade, it's really hard to mold them into who you and God want them to be. Everyone tells me: "Time flies!" and " They grow up too fast!" or "How is my child in 5th grade already?"
And so, since you will be saying these same words in 10 (lightning fast) years, I want you to be as best prepared as you can. This is not short and sweet, but long and strong.
Bossy Big Sis Advice:
Every. Single. Day. No Excuses. Read with her. Read to her. Buy books. And lots of them. Take her to the library. Let her see you reading, even if it's Glamour Magazine. Or the comic section of the paper. Whatever. Just read. Let her see your excitement for learning new things. Make story time the best time of the day. Get into character. Act silly. Let her see the joy that reading gives you. She will want to do the same because she wants to be just like her mommy. Show her that reading is important. Why? Because it IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. I promise you this. The most frustrated/struggling students are the students who have trouble reading and/or "hate" reading. They hate reading because they don't have a role model who loves it. Be my niece's reading role model.
Sit and talk. Please don't let her eat in her room while watching TV and Instagraming her BFF who is totes magotes dating a hotty totty. Teach her manners, which I know you will. Yes ma'am. Please. Napkin in lap. Drink on the table, not on the floor... you have no idea what I've seen. The parents who know what's going on know because they ask. They talk. They listen. They put down their phones. Parents who are nose deep in their own social media drama will produce their own little apples that continue to fall from their unmanageable tree. Either she hears your voice or that of Hollywood. And Hollywood is telling her to wear a hot pink zebra push up bra under a white shirt and show up at school. Yes, this happened.
It builds confidence. Kids are starving for confidence. And I mean starrrrrving for it. (Sidenote - Have you shaken a 12-year-old's hand lately? Seriously, seek one out and do it. Like, go to a park one day and just randomly start introducing yourself or something. Most of them are Limp-ma-gimp! We don't need to crush knuckles, but give me a good shake and look me in the eye. I'll never forget Mrs. Blythe telling mom what she did with the two boys when meeting someone new. She would ask her children what color eyes a person had after meeting them for the first time. I love this. Eye contact. Stand up straight. A firm handshake.) Allow her to fail and encourage her to keep going when she does. Let her try out for teams. Let her be the worst on the team if it makes her happy. She will learn and she will get better. Or she will lead herself to other areas where she will thrive. Let her do things that will end in failure and disappointment. Because failing builds perseverance and perseverance builds character and character builds confidence. Be confident that this will make her more confident.
Warning: I will be guilty of this one.
She will be pretty, but she won't be the prettiest. She will be hardworking, but she won't be the best at everything all the time. I say this because I've had kids at my fifth grade door thinking they can do no wrong, whine when they don't get their way, and pout when I tell them... wait for it - no they aren't the best (gasssppp). If I tell my sweet niece that she is the prettiest/best, then what will she work for? Will she be humble? Will she get lazy?
Highlighting her strengths and the strengths of others, will teach her to be well rounded. I see it every month: I announce the student of the month or highest grades on a test, etc. There are students who clap and congratulate their classmates and then there are those who shoot me the "I'm spoiled and my mommy tells me I'm the best when I'm really not" face.
I know you really don't need this because you will be a great parent. But, if it ever gets hard and you need a quick reminder as to why you are being the "mean" parent or the annoying 20 questions parent, just glance at this little love note. Her teachers will thank you.
I love you! xo Big Sis
Monday, January 19, 2015
In honor of my favorite column in my favorite Glamour Magazine, I'm creating my own "Hey, It's Okay" series on the blog. Join me as I begin to realize that some things I once thought were not okay are, in fact, perfectly fine. Here's to feeling okay enough to openly post my thoughts.
Hey, It's Okay...
to teach at and/or let your child attend a school that is not A-rated. I may ruffle some feathers with this one, but I know there are others out there who have thought the same way. *Private schools are the exception here.*
This one's for teachers like me who've struggled with the feeling that we aren't doing our best as teachers or aren't teaching at the best school. For parents like mine who weren't afraid of diversity, neighborhood schools, and fighting for soap in the bathrooms like the rich schools had, this is for you. Love you!
When I went to elementary school, there weren't school grades. We just went to our neighborhood school and what do you know, we survived. Sure, a small portion of my parents' friends could not believe we were going to "that" school. So those few parents would drive them to a "better" school or up and move to a "better" area where they would go to a more desirable school. I loved my neighborhood. I loved my school. I had no idea I wasn't at the best school in the entire world until people started talking smack about it later in life.
These days it's a bit different. Now, every school is given a school grade and for the most part it goes a little something like this:
A-Rated: Wealthy, mainly white students
B-Rated or Lower: Everyone else
When I began my teaching career four years ago, I took a long term substitute position at a local elementary school. This particular school was an A-rated school. Naturally, I walked in there (with my new teaching wardrobe on I must add) thinking that they had the best of the best. The best students, the best parents, and the best teachers. And boy oh boy did I hit the jackpot. The students were ahhhmazing and the parents were even better. I had a room mom! Yeah ladies they exist! Fancy, right? The kids were extremely bright, 99% of them were well taken care of, supplies were brought in, kids were bathed, fed, and loved. To make matters even better, I was there to receive all the Christmas Break gift spoiling. "Ellise, you are the next contestant on the Price is Right, come on down!" Eeeeek! This was so fun to get all sorts of gifts that I actually liked. FSU themed goodies and gift cards galore. I freakin' L-O-V-E this place!
Three months later my position ended - booooo! But I got extremely lucky to find a job at another local school for the remainder of the year - score! This next school was not an A-rated school. When I mentioned my new adventure to teachers at the A-school, they gave me that look. You know thaaaat look. The look of "Aw bless your heart, sweetpea. Good luck with that. " And that was when I knew I had been "warned." Oh super. What's so wrong over there? It's only a few miles from some of these A-mazing schools. Seriously, how different can it be?
Very. Different.
(Now, before I proceed let's get real. This county is great! We are blessed to live here. We don't know ghetto or poor like some other districts. But I do think sometimes we forget that and get a bit too big for our britches, just like I started doing when my fairy tale teaching bubble was popped. )
After my first week at my "just average" new school, I wanted OUT and I wanted out ASAP. I wanted to go back to the sweet life. Where were my perfect children? Excuse me, no room mommy!? Why wasn't I filling out a survey about my favorite things? I like Almond Joys, the color blue, and Bonefish Grill. Should I include this in my All About Me letter? What's going on here? Bad dream? Waking up in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
I took a deep breath. I had committed to this school for the rest of the year. But I swore the minute that year ended, I was going to apply like a wild woman to all of the A-rated schools in our district because this challenging teaching stuff was for the birds. I left more exhausted and defeated in the first week than I did in the three months I was at the A-mazing school. Every single rotten day I would think, How do these teachers do it here? Do they not know that there is an easier way? They MUST be getting paid more. That's totally it. No? Dear God please let me be at a school where I belong. This cannot be it. I wished and hoped God would answer my prayers. And who learned the hard way because she was hard headed? This gal.
Surprisingly, that first class really grew on me. I knew that if I was able to survive the NYC and MIA dating scenes, I could surely handle 24 ten year olds with occasional on-the-verge-hormonal outbreaks. Was I going to give up on kids like these because, well it was more challenging? Challenge is my middle name! I eat challenges for breakfast! Most of my parents and students were just like those of the other schools - Smart. Outgoing. Determined. Persistent. Problem Solvers. Hungry to Succeed. Generous. Involved. And some of my parents over the years have showed more love to kids they don't even know than I've ever seen. Yes, I'm now bragging about the same people I was dreading to meet.
Teachers: Here is what I know for sure. Teachers are no better at an A-rated school than they are at a non A-rated school. And I can say that because I know this is a fact. Most teachers are AWESOME. At all kinds of schools. Switch our staff with an A-rated school staff and their A-team reputation will not change our school score miraciuosly to an A. And some think it's too much to handle and would never set foot at our school. I know this because I've been there and experienced that.
Parents: It's not wrong to want the best for your child/children. Most people do attend their neighborhood school. But you are not "protecting" your child by trying to keep them away from "those" kids. You are not being a savior by begging for certain neighborhoods to be zoned to our school instead of yours. These are CHILDREN. It hurts my heart to hear parents talk like that about 5 year olds! I even hear kids talking about it, which definitely means their parents are talking about it... in front of them. And I hate to break it to you, but those same kids you are so afraid of are coming to a middle or high school classroom near you. Gasp! They might even play on a sports team with your child. Double gasp! No! Say it isn't true?! But parents don't fret because bad things are only talked about at the "bad" schools. Ha, that was a joke. Do you have any idea who taught me about drugs and all sorts of other things? You guessed it - kids from the "better" schools. I'm not saying this is how it always goes. I'm not calling out any one school. I'm not putting down your school or your decision. I just ask that you stop putting down my school and my kids.
Just because some of our kids have to walk to the dollar store to buy a project board and then only have a pencil at home to use to decorate that board, does not make them bad kids.
Just because our classrooms are filled with noses in books instead of finger swipes on kindles, does not make them lazy or worthless.
Just because our kids need hugs and handshakes every dang day to feel loved, does not make them future criminals.
Just because it's their parents fault does not make it their fault.
Just because we don't get fancy gifts to show that we are the best teachers ever, does not mean that we aren't the best.teachers.ever! (And yes, I've received soap, yard sale finds, a single stick of gum, used coffe mugs, and half filled perfume bottles. Good thing, I love a good yard sale find! Good Lord, I love this job.)
These are God's children created specifically by him. Some of us are called to love on all of them no matter their color, behavior, disability, or bank account. How dare I or anyone else think for one second that we are too good to be around them. Jeez I just admitted how shallow I used to be. If anything, you have to be really freakin' amazing to be there.
I love teachers! I love kids! I love competition! I certainly hope we do achieve that A-rating one day. Some people just have to work a little harder, but we are definitely up for the challenge.
This journey continues to be the most emotional ride I've ever been on. And I don't plan on getting off this roller coaster to cruise the lazy river. Hey it's okay - just keep your head up, your hands up, and thank the big man above for putting you right where you, and some A-mazing kids, NEED YOU to be.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Smile?
Do you ever feel this way? Or are the questions simple and the answers complicated?
With all the bad news lately, I made it a point to find things that make me feel a little lighter in my heart. I don't have much to say, but I do know that life is precious and I hope you can find a few things that make you wear a new accessory from ear to ear this week... your smile.
Goooood morning! You are what you eat, so eat something happy!
Third Sentence... thank God for my kids!!
LOVE AND BEARDS!
Pray for Sam's quick recovery. He needs to focus on becoming a groom and grooming that beard!
Second place in my age group in the Heavenly Smiles Run. Being in heaven must make you smile... so just know there are many angels up there running (without sweating), watching us (and cheering for our accomplishments), and smiling (without hurting).
Monday, March 4, 2013
ROCK!
When I made my students set goals for the second half I the year, I had to set a couple of my own. One of them was to incorporate more music into our learning. I enjoy teaching through music and the kiddos get pumped when I play a "jam" before a subject to get them pumped up. My selections range from classical songs during writing to current top 10 songs before math. Lately, our lessons had me thinking of melodies that would correlate with our standards. Here is a snap shot of what we've been rockin' out to while we learn. Most students get really into it and a few just roll their eyes at me. Either way, I am trying to include music and movement into our routines to make learning fun and meaningful. Enter our learning boom box... ha!
Disclaimer: all the music I play is either the instrumental, clean, or the kids bop version. I preview everything before I play it.
I paired this lesson with:
1. A 4th grade teacher called my phone which I answered on speaker and she pretended to by my Aunt Sally. She was saying all sorts of funny things that an old lady would say. The kids loved it! When I hung up, I told my class to "please excuse my dear Aunt Sally" because she is old and didn't know I was in the middle of teaching.
and
2) This video:
They really enjoyed this one.
We are also learning about the Solar System and Planets. I introduced the lesson by playing the clean version of "Day and Night" by Kid Cudi and the instrumental version of "Lean Back" by Fat Joe. With the "Lean Back" song, we made up our own lyrics. Hopefully this will help them to remember tilt vs revolution vs rotation.
Maybe all of my music incorpation is paying off. My favorite science fair project... throw back!
They sure do know how to make me smile!
I hope you have a ROCKIN' week! Maybe try to find ways to incorporate moves and grooves into your daily routine. :)
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
My 180
In college, I was pretty sure I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to spend my weekends with friends, I wanted to make it to the gym every day, I wanted to find an original outfit for the next social, and I wanted to graduate with that perfect job that would make me oh-so-happy! You know that glamorous dream job... anyone? hello? Okay, so I wasn't the only one without that lined up straight out of college.
I went from selling furniture and ad space to currently selling twenty-two 5th graders on the idea that they are the greatest little minds in the sunshine! And trust me, it isn't an easy sales pitch. With the craziness going on in the media and the pressures of testing, I feel that students' confidence needs a serious boost and I am trying very hard to find a way to relate endless worksheets and tests to the intriguing world around them. It's definitely not Glamour Magazine, but it is my dream job.
Welcome to our "think tank."
Class Mascots - Frankie the Fish and Renegade, naturally.
Negativity = NOT allowed in our nucleus aka the classroom.
We don't accept anything less. Each student sets an academic and personal goal at the beginning of every semester.
We are always fishing for good news!
Creating 'Nole fans one book at a time.
Work. Hard. Always.
This is not trash, I promise. Each student has a "confidence building" wall. At the end of each week, they stick a note on the wall beneath their name. They start at the very bottom of the wall. By the end of the year they should have sticky notes climbing up the wall to the top to reach their name. This way they can see how far they have come and what helped to build their confidence throughout the year. I can't wait to have to step on chairs to tape these up. GO KIDS GO!
No comments:
Post a Comment